Things We Never Say ( But should)

Glad to see you here, thanks for reading. This topic is based on a few of my own experiences and quite honestly, my downfalls. Though many of us get angry, saying words that we would not otherwise say, I think our true feelings arise when we are angry but we just don’t communicate them too well.

Have you ever been so intensely angry that you couldn’t speak and as soon as you walk away and cool down, the words flow much easier? Anger moves our emotions drastically and instantly.

Don’t think of anger as a tool because I can assure you that it is not. Could you have taken the time to tell them when the issue arose, rather than exploding on impact? Yes, you could have but we as humans let so much go just to spend time with someone. All those little things have piled so high and you have just ripped out the last block. Did you yell JENGA? No, instead you implied that the block you pulled meant- nothing.

Going through my phases in life has shown many paths of error in which I hope to never live through again. My anger consisted mostly of words and I knew I could break them down to ultimately leave me be. In my mind I thought, “ They are only words, what can come of it?”. But over the years and through many hard and heartfelt conversations I realized, my words really did hurt them. This was something that really took me by surprise.

To these people (some being bullies and some good friends) I impacted them until this day, even as I write this.

How do I cope you ask? Now it is more simple than ever. I understand my faults and I know what made me who I am today. Upon realizing that not too long ago, I came to believe that we must have cycles in this life. We need to reflect. Therefore if you cannot reflect, you have lived closer to God than Jesus himself.

What could you have said that would have made the biggest difference? Let’s try a scenario but lets start at a young age and then maybe you can see where this ties in to your life now.

The Beginning:

Max and Blake are arguing over who gets to ride the new bicycle first. Max being the oldest, Blake will always get pushed around so that he rarely gets a turn until the bike no longer interests Max or the bike just becomes inoperable.

The boy’s father walks into the room. “ Hey boys look what I have for you, I could only afford this one bike at the moment but I am sure you can share. I will get another one soon so you both have a bike.” The father exits the room to escape into his television.

Max grabs the bike by the handle with controlling force, “ I’m the first to ride it because I am the oldest.” Puffing his chest in the air.

Blake steps back and says, “ Ok, but I am next!”

SWOOSH! Max is out the door, with each step of the stairs the bike hops in the air and shortly after, Max disappears. More than ten minutes go by, Blake staring at the road. He see’s max and yells, “ It’s my turn now, you have been on it for so long!” But Max speeds by pretending not to hear his younger brother.

Twenty minutes have passed and Max is now pushing the bike up the sidewalk. “ Max! It’s my turn and you know it!”.

Max is smiling before even having heard that. “ Yeah, you can have it now.” And starts to chuckle.

“Wait, wait. The back tire is flat! Max, that’s not fair!” Blake yells.

“Whatever.” Max retorts.

Blake stands up from the ground after inspecting the tire and screams, “ I wish… I really wish…”

“Just say it Blake!”

“ I really wish you were not my brother and I hate you!” Blake screams intensely. Their father rushes out of the house to inspect.

Back to business:

Now apply that to how you handled situations as a rebellious teen. Did you fight, cuss, slap, hit or throw objects at one another? What happened after that? Maybe you are the one unlucky SOB that had a brother or sister who didn’t fight back. Therefore, you have not learned anything.

When we say things as unintentional as this, even though it may not seem wrong at the moment. The father could have watched them and corrected the actions before all of this had been said. Yes, I will hear critics say, “ We need tough love” and this and that. Point being, no we don’t. We must have a voice of reason. A loving family. Not a potentially bad situation that could end up violent- or worse, dead. Statistics you say? I do not need them because I have lived it.

I only ask that when a situation arises and we are not able to control our emotions, that we stop and reconvene at a later date. Why spew hateful language and push someone else further than you are? Your only effort to show them, “who’s boss” will only escalate the situation. Here, is when the fighting occurs. Trying to one-up the next is a never ending story.

As fathers, mothers, caretakers or guardians, teach our children how to deal with all of these emotions. These actions do follow you into your adulthood and you will show the same emotions to your children, thus the cycle continues.

These signs are apparent in children who have had little to no structure or no balance between nurture and nature. The balance is for peace and truth. Love and hate. There is always a line to ride. There is always a moderate approach. FIND IT!!!

We are the hope. We are the future, to be the future for our children and those around them.

As always, Be Safe. Be Kind. We are only HUMANS.